She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
