i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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