she was so not down for the gang bang
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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