I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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