I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize