What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
