I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
