nut hugger
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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