He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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