I CAN MOONWALK!
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Randomize
