This girl is more easily done than said...
he wants to bone in the snuggie
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He shit in the fireplace
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
