Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Let's paint friendship bongs
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
foreskin is a definite game changer
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Randomize
