I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
