all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
She has the best kind of daddy issues
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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