it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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