Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
