I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Who did Billy Mays play for?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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