but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
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