I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
