Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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