so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i think i have two assholes
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
