As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
