dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
