Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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