And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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