she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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