What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize