Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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