Don't you send me to vm
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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