The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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