My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I need to sanitize my soul.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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