Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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