tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
