I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
