google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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