good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
