i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
home. puking in laundry basket.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
