We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
