hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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