HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
