No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
