dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
