under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Randomize
