dude i'm inner monologue high
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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