It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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