you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
