theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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