I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
