Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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