it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
false alarm, still single
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
