I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
