I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Randomize
