we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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