We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
