You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
