meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
