she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
