It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
