if i can run in heels then i can drive
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
