We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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