xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
