Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
