i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Randomize
