You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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