Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Randomize
