We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
