Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize