Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
