Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
