Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
