I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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