Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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