All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
