Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Quick, to the slutcave!
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize