she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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