I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
NoShamevember. You game?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
